Friday 28 January 2005

Lessons...

I was reading a friend’s blog… and in one of her entry, she was being very honest about what she had gone through and leant from the year 2004…. Reading about it… She made me wonder about my own reflection… about what I have achieved for the year 2004…. Not much….

I do, however, reading her entry, felt a pang…. Not because I was jealous... but because it entails growth… wisdom… and many other great things… I’ll share with you what she had written (IN bold dark green), and this was taken and shared with permission of course!!! Lessons in life don’t always have to be ‘practical’… If you can learn from someone else, that is still lessons of life! :P

Lesson 1: It really is impossible to be friends with ex-boyfriends.
A lot of people have tried it, but not all are successful in achieving the right balance between staying PLATONIC friends and friends with an edge. Recently, a friend asked the name of my ex-boyfriend… and I couldn’t even remembered his name… after all… it had been 8 years!!! Even when I did try to be friends with him and him agreeing to do the same, he had always remained ‘missing’ until I could not find him. I do hope he is still alive and well. But, the stage of him being ‘missing’ was another blow to my already fragile emotional state…

However, I do believe, it is NOT impossible, contrary to beliefs of such nature… we just need to WORK out on a lot of things… just like any other relationships… its TAXING! Only if it is worth the bother… carry on… but how many times can you say that???

Lesson 2: Resist falling back into old relationships
Just because you feel lonely and being single again may be depressing for some… it does not mean you have to trace your mistakes. Some relationships have MISTAKE in bold across it… sometimes its in neon lights!!!

Knowing and UNDERSTANDING that your relationship had been a MISTAKE… You should not go back to it… NoT in any circumstances…

My sister has this saying… “Do not lick your own spit!”

Lesson 3: When you know you have to say goodbye, stick to it
I am a FAILURE in this department. I really do hate goodbyes… it makes me sad… and very emotional… and when I get emotional, I always get BAD headaches. But yes… there are times saying goodbyes and sticking to it is the best you can do for your mental and emotional well-being!

Lesson 4: When people talk, you learn about who your real friends are.
Being back-stabbed or talked about by people you call friends are the worst kind of betrayal ever. It doesn’t have to be HUGE secrets… just small things you tell in confidence is enough… I know I won’t be able to trust that person again…

Lesson 5: When you need a place to go, you can always count on home.
People in my home, my family… They had always been there for me… frustrations at work or about relationships… they help me move on… they always have my best interest at heart.. (though sometimes difficult to see!)

Lesson 6: Take extra care to nurture your friendship because they can make life so much more fulfilling.
I don’t think I can live long… anywhere… without my friends… I know I can be a hermit… doormat... couch-potato… and not see anyone for a long stretch of time… but even then, I know I have a friend… Friends make a part of who you are today…

Hence, I make a habit of surprising friends with small but meaningful gestures to let them know they are GREATLY APPRECIATED… and my life line!!!

Lesson 7: Growing up sure aint easy... and I'm bruised quite a bit. Know there is nothing I can do but learn from it all
We all know this… yet, especially me, loves to complain… I do get down… frustrated… LIFE!!! It is a journey… and eventful one… and we have to take it easy… enjoy all the bumps to arrive at the pinnacle! One wise person said to me… “Life is how you make it for yourself. Its easy if you make it. Its bad if you let it.”

Do you want to share what you have leant in your life??? Not just for 2004… I’m all ears… email me for privacy!

NB: On a lighter note, to share what a friend said to me last night…. She said… my blog and my writing reminded her of ‘Carrie’ in Sex in the City… I take that as a HUGE compliment :) Who would have thought? Even if you disagree… I am still very happy someone thinks it :P

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

lesson four!!! i agree!!! and there are just a lot of people out there, who you consiser as friends who shouldn't have made it in ur friends list in the first place!!! with regards to ur previous post.. the contract should be terminated!!!

lesson five! home!!! i wanna be home!!!

carrie? muahaha! =) sigh.. boleh kut...
-fr-

Anonymous said...

apa lah.. i totally disagree with ur comment on the number 1. because i myself is being frens with my exes and having a platonic friendship with my bestfren.. for the past 20 years... :)

Padian said...

Dearest Friend,
If you have read the whole section on Lesson 1, i did mention that it is NOT impossible to be friends with your exs.... I merely stated it is not a thing everyone would induldge in because it may be a lot of hard work! and of other reasons of course :)

However, I would like to congratulate you for being able to achieve what most can't :)

Keep reading.

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