I am not sure how i feel... often its blank... on auto mode... but sometimes, i get really annoyed...

I get annoyed because 'I' have to treat someone as nice as possible when he clearly do not deserve it. Does not deserve my loyalty or compassion. At times, i get really mad i really want to do something, but i dunno what...

The truth hurts and is hard to accept... but .. its all facts... that is just the way it was... no beating round the bush..

sometimes i felt compelled to be nice and do things as much as possible... i do not like to be a pushover...

There are times when i am connered to do something i do not want to do... that just evoke anger and high level of resentment... and maybe, that is what i feel.. resentment... all those years... it just boils down to this.... loads of resentment...

They say, to forgive is divine.... well... i am no angel... i may forgive, i still remember, i still remember the void...

I am trying... but maybe not hard enough... not wanting to?