So the moon has not been sighted, hence, Ramadhan (Fasting month) starts on Tuesday, corresponding to 2nd September 2008 in Brunei. Yet, the shopping malls were packed with people. I know this because i just came back from one, just walking around with my sister and her boyfriend... also so not to be on my own and think things...

With that, tomorrow, Monday, is a working day... and i have to travel all the way to Belait. Thank god that my cousin is going there to work as well, hence, i get to relax on driving in the morning.

Yesterday, we had CDC family day... and even though i work in Belait district, i was involved in it. It was fun, even if i was only in charge of registration and ice-cream. However, people kept on asking for coupons... like they never had food and could not afford to get it themselves. Those coupons were meant for the special kids.... i really resent them.

Friday night, i went out with Haslin and June. Another friend was supposed to join us,... however, excuses were made. The girls helped to cheer me up... i did, to a certain degree... they did, however, managed to get my tummy full to the utmost top.

On Thursday evening, after my Tutong session, i went to Giant to get some supplies for home and clinic. i spent a small fortune... i usually do when i am unhappy... I did resist so many things i felt was unnecessary... guess my will power is not that strong.

Lin said that i do not sound down on the blog, but different in real life. I guess I am down... I am better with people around me or kept busy... not so great on my own... alone in my room... nothing-ness just envelopes me....

Today...

Today:

Its raining heavily outside since I came home from shopping/dinner with Uncle and cousin. I had just finished cleaning the kitchen, which includes going through 'old' food stock, cleaning the fridge and freezer, floor, and kitchen table and stove including microwave and kettle.

Ramadhan is approching very fast, and apparently people are very excited. I went to get some supplies for us (Uncle and me) for the fasting month. Will get the veggies nearer to the day.

I finally managed to get a pair of shoes to replace the one i have. The sole is giving way, but its still good for a few weeks walk. I shall keep it till its unusable.

I have finally MOVED to the new clinic location. Some patients had been there, some professionals too. Its not untidy, but things are still all over the place (kitchen) in boxes... Will need to unpack very soon. It looks good.

but, why do i feel 'odd'? I should be happy things are going well....

JOY OH JOY!!!

HAVE YOU HEARD THE LATEST NEWS!!!! JOY OH JOY...

AT LEAST NOW, THE FUTURE NO LONGER LOOKS TOO BLEAK! SOME PROSPECT OF LIGHT, FINALLY....

Opening Ceremony

so the opening ceremony is over. The highlight for me was watching the young athlete try their walking, matching, swinging, lifting and walking up steps and running. They were cute :)

I had the privillage to be one of the flag lady. It was okay, despite being in the sun and all, however, people change their minds all the time, and.... this was no exception. yesterday they made final changes,... today, few minutes before the siren of the royal bellowed, changes were made yet again.

i had to kneel on the tarmac... It was hot, uncomfortable. but i survived. People whom had been watching close may noticed that i was a bit TOO shifty in my position for a flag lady... sigh... this is what you do....

Superficially, things went quite smoothly, neatly without hiccups :) Everyone were happy...

strange...

I am currently volunteering for a good cause - 2nd Special Olympics Asia-Pacific Bocce Competition. (FYI the first game was in Brunei as well in 2005). Here, i get to work with plenty of people in different situations under stress, and yet you have to make things happen. And here is where you meet colourful characters.

BUT amongst the commotion, there is this lady that stood out from the rest and (Singaporean married to a local) whom had been labeled 20 cents - because every time her name is raised (which is very frequent) you have to pay 20 cents into this piggy bank, which will then be given back to her ( AT THE VERY END) as an act of 'REPENT-tion' from the group!

Anyways, this lady is VERY good at fabricating stories. She does not even bother to tell her lies consistently. And I for one, had really been fooled. I really believed her 'truths of news' until variations of the same news came to me, and people started questioning! People in various committees actually LAUGHED at me, claiming me to be an easy target!

For the life of me, I cannot imagine why she is such a 'Dr Jeckle / Mr Hyde'. I wanted to tell her that we all know variations of truths... but somehow, i don't feel its worth my time to even associate with her... and hence, i really keep my distance, and only nodding when i see her. The mere-est glimpse of her, everyone scatters.

I wonder why she would do that to herself??? and alienate other people???

Another lady that i find strange is this lady that is supposedly 'FAMILY' but WE never really associate ourselves with her or her clan much. like, once a year is not really considered family!!! And, if anyone claims us to be related, i usually say we are NOT!

For a woman of her status, she really shame herself! One would think she would act with grace and dignity... but all people can see is that she is an airhead, especially good for nothing, and not worth to even try replying to any of her requests or questions. I don't even think she is respected by any of the other professionals, other than people within her own department with reasons to be so, i guess - ass lickers!!

HOWEVER, i met exceptional people :) especially the special individuals. They have hearts of gold ;)

Wishes...

How many times have you dreamt of being lucky like Aladin, and get that magic lamp, rub it and get 3 magic wishes. And if you had any three wishes, what would it be?

How many times have you been in the position, where you started a sentence with "I wish..." without ever really thinking and putting any bearings to it...

If i were to have such wishes, I wish that...
1. we live in an ideal world, where people do what they are supposed to do. There would be no oppression, no self interest projects, no backlashing... If we all follow and live with the 'human code', i believe we all can achieve many many positive gains... but then again, humans are selfish individuals.

2. i am a woman of stature and wealth. Not because i want to be FILTHY rich (it doesn't hurt), and for the glamour of it all, but with wealth and stature, you can do a lot of good things, other than be independent financially, and you get to do things you like without any burdeon, you can carry out many tasks such as be a volunteer to causes close to your heart, and offer your specialty in certain cases, and get to further or enhance your own skills, as you see fit.

3. I have the wisdom and foresight to live life well, and not do mistakes or regretted things in the past. When and if you are wise, you know how to treat people as you know the outcome and consequences of your own actions.

I shed too many tears already and all very recently. Not only do my eyes are tired, i am exhausted mentally, spiritually and emotionally...

My birthday was almost a month ago, but i am still recieving gifts :) thanks you all. I had a book, kain, desk, DVD player, MP3, bag, brooch, floating candles, dinner and lovely thoughts. I love them all.

ANOTHER nice birthday present was when June called me up to tell me that exam results are out, and that i actually passed ONE paper out of TWO :) Ain't that brilliant :P I thought it was not short of miracles.

August also meant, WEDDINGS.... Other than Azhan getting married, Emran and my Mak Cik's daughter also got married. And they all got married on the same day. Emran was an old school friend from my primary days. He invited me weeks earlier, :) and naturally, his was the one i had to attend to. Azhan is a friend from the frivolous years... and Mak Cik's daughter's wedding was a smash, i know :) though i was not there.

Drama was everywhere this month.... and Special Olympics is also coming... of which, drama is not short of.... AMAZINGLY, I was volunteered to teach the kids to dance, traditional and modern dance ;) and... believe it or not, they managed to learn a traditional dance, under 2 hours!!!

I cannot wait what else is there for me to do and go through.... life is so mysterious... and wonderful!