One thing i know for sure about myself is that i have loads of character flaws. i know everyone have some, but who knows this better than ourselves. At least I think i do.

Of the many flaws i have, there are plenty that i can do to change, and some perhaps i can change with effort, and many others i thought was my strength may be my weakness and disliked by lots around me, but they never say anything, and just accepted it the way i am. But, for how long?

Sitting here alone in my room, i was thinking about this, and it brought a dash of sadness to my heart. I would not want to tolerate 'friends' of their 'bad habits', or at least, I should be able to tell them what i think of them, and how we can change for the better together. But some how, suggestions as such would not really be well recieved.

i have been wondering to myself... what is it that i really want out of life??? can i really achieve it??? Does money really solve or dissolve problems faced now? would it really be able to make me slightly happier?

Would a change in scenary or environment, or work place, contribute to being less 'sad'?

maybe i am taking too much on my plate... but i feel like there is no one to help me and so i have to do it alone... and when it gets too much, i breakdown, and when i do, i have to self repair or the burdeon would be greater.... am i making sense?

I wish you can talk... and that you can tell me that i am crazy or just tell me something to make me feel better...

often i thought that it is not worth trying to change or upgrade myself... as i do not see the benefits of changing... other than to other people than myself... should i even think of being selfish like that...

i wish i can say... with that amount of money, i would want to have this amout of work and responsibility....

I wish i can say... you are hurting my feelings and that was not what i meant...

i wish many things... but i wish the most to be better

monthly update

Would it be such a cliche if i say, I have been busy and do not have time to blog? I guess it is, but then again, its true.

UPDATES:

• I have a GO & FR exam in June that i have not studied for YET! I suspect i would be FAILING terribly.

• There will be a family day in KB on the 6,7,8th of JUNE. Hence, all are invited to come and see what the fuss is all about.

• Have been trying to 'teach' some students on a voluntary basis for their O-Level exams - which ended with me studying as well...

• I have been sick constantly for the past 2 months.. and still coughing and feeling feverish, especially in the afternoons.

• I have promised myself to exercise, instead, i have exercised my mouth muscles with much food, hence the stomach had extended, and weight increased.... MUCH to my dismay, and soon, my doctor's disappointment.

• I have indulged myself in a singing marathon for 2 days, singing my heart out.... without even leaving my room, except for important meals.

• MY phone has been barred as a reason, as i have FORGOTTEN to pay my bills, much to m y sister's dismay as i could not make contact :P

• We had failing e-speed at home, and i had BAD withdrawal symptoms