Special Olympics in Brunei

It soon... sooner and sooner... I kind of have forgotten about it... like kept it at the back of my head... thinking the day will not come... BUT its just round the corner. And preparations had been minimal from my side... I suppose everyone knows I am not REALLY enthusss in being added into the program... but i try and pull my weight where necessary.

There had been LOTS of gliches in planning this event... You'll be suprised with the SHIT they unloaded... and the SHIT other people are bring into it... I am thankful I am not deeply involved or as usual I would have gotten worked up about it!

Special Olympics in Brunei is a NEW thing... and publicity about it had been minimal... take the charity run/walk for example... It was poorly planned resulting in a major TRAFFIC on the highway. With the minimum publicity about it, when people do pass the speical children doing the run, they immediately have this negativity attached to it. So much for requesting the public to be more aware and participate in this event!!! NOT just the public, people whom knows about it and was stuck in the massive traffic was cursing +++.

I am supposedly one of the organising committee for Gala Night, of which some big shot had initially suggested to plan lots of "cultural" boring stuff to be included. Naturally, even if I disagree, since it had been agreed upon, I THOUGHT that had already been the plan. They have managed to find stuff... organise it... plan it...

A few weeks to the date, I was given the news of things not running smoothly and that we have to come up with a back up plan!!! WHY? WHY? WHY?

Why are people such idiots? Why do they not plan and fore-see problems from the very begining and support themselves!!! You make the mess... you clean your own shit! It is soooooo irresponsible to ask someone else to clean your mess... But then,... WAIT... isn't that standard procedure in this country!?

Every one knows that I am serious about joining the Youth Ship, resulting in long silence on the blog. But, this month, that is not the only reason. I took a few days leave after my birthday only because I thought I wanted to rest and take some time to write in... but others things were more important that required me to devote myself to them.

Both of my grandparents from my mum's and dad's side were both admitted into the hospital. But before they were admitted, it involved several trips in and out of the emergency room. Basically, I was in the hospital most of the time, even if i applied for leave to be far away from it. On top of that, one of my cousin suffered a serious bout of Leukemia, and he recently passed on.

A collective of things that had happened during my short absence from work, things that happened during the nights I practiced for the Youth Ship as well as event counting to date, all made me realised how different people are... and how they are unpredictable even if you know them... and how easily hurt you can get and how fragile trust is...

Most people mean well... but even so... When you don't understand what they are trying to do, it feels and looks different and as a result, hurt and resentment grows...

Some people are just plain mean... and there are others that kept a split personality... Liking and being agreeable in front of you but GOD knows what they say behind your back.

I am selective about people I like... but generally I like almost everyone until proven undesirable. I also trust people but I also believe in my instincts. Sometimes, your instincts says one thing but you try not to listen to them based on several grounds... I've been burnt so many times due to my stupidity and weakness to not listen to my inner voice!

I've always like the truth.. Yes it hurts. Yes it is not always pleasant. But would you want to listen to a lie? I hate it especially when people want to say something but mid-way stops only to say "You wouldn't understand", "I don't think you can take it", "You would not like what you will hear" or "Oh! Its nothing!". Don't bother telling me in the first place OKAY. DON'T even try to point out what the problem is if you are not going to fully communicate your needs/point!!!

I cannot be bothered to "ACT" most of the time, unless i really want to mask something... but if you are unhappy with someone, but there are severe complications of expressing yourself, would you just keep it to yourself in hope he/she "gets it", or ignore and burry it as if it had never happen!?

If I can run away permamently from here... I think I would take the opportunity.