Every one knows that I am serious about joining the Youth Ship, resulting in long silence on the blog. But, this month, that is not the only reason. I took a few days leave after my birthday only because I thought I wanted to rest and take some time to write in... but others things were more important that required me to devote myself to them.

Both of my grandparents from my mum's and dad's side were both admitted into the hospital. But before they were admitted, it involved several trips in and out of the emergency room. Basically, I was in the hospital most of the time, even if i applied for leave to be far away from it. On top of that, one of my cousin suffered a serious bout of Leukemia, and he recently passed on.

A collective of things that had happened during my short absence from work, things that happened during the nights I practiced for the Youth Ship as well as event counting to date, all made me realised how different people are... and how they are unpredictable even if you know them... and how easily hurt you can get and how fragile trust is...

Most people mean well... but even so... When you don't understand what they are trying to do, it feels and looks different and as a result, hurt and resentment grows...

Some people are just plain mean... and there are others that kept a split personality... Liking and being agreeable in front of you but GOD knows what they say behind your back.

I am selective about people I like... but generally I like almost everyone until proven undesirable. I also trust people but I also believe in my instincts. Sometimes, your instincts says one thing but you try not to listen to them based on several grounds... I've been burnt so many times due to my stupidity and weakness to not listen to my inner voice!

I've always like the truth.. Yes it hurts. Yes it is not always pleasant. But would you want to listen to a lie? I hate it especially when people want to say something but mid-way stops only to say "You wouldn't understand", "I don't think you can take it", "You would not like what you will hear" or "Oh! Its nothing!". Don't bother telling me in the first place OKAY. DON'T even try to point out what the problem is if you are not going to fully communicate your needs/point!!!

I cannot be bothered to "ACT" most of the time, unless i really want to mask something... but if you are unhappy with someone, but there are severe complications of expressing yourself, would you just keep it to yourself in hope he/she "gets it", or ignore and burry it as if it had never happen!?

If I can run away permamently from here... I think I would take the opportunity.