HELP!!!

Life is interesting but PEOPLE makes it even more interesting. They are the players in different people's lives... and depending on what type of people you meet along the way, they rub off you a different manner and this has an impact on you. They may colour you bright happy colours, or faded pastel colours, or angry brilliant colours. I have my fair share... but not as much as most...

I have been elected to be the leader for this program I am joining, and I am honoured to be considered capable to shoulder this HUGE responsibility, and i take responsibilities NOT lightly! I vowed since I was a young girl and can formulate thoughts in my brain to be my own without people listening to it, to always be responsible! and My grandfather had told me as well... his words are gold to me! Our assistant is this lovely man, who has a smile that can melt anyone, especially when his eyes twinkle! He is more than capable to shoulder anything that comes his way... I was happy to know that we were brought together to work as a team. Problems will be easy...

My weakness is.... I believe people... I like to believe the good in people... I don't think people are nasty until they proved themselves to be one... I listen to what others had told me about them, but do not formulate my own ideas of them until I meet and interact with them myself... Sometimes... I feel I SHOULD just be like any others, that I should not bother to give people equal opportunities and just listen to what they have to say... and make that my opinion about them... that way i dont have to start fresh with them...

Why is all this brought up... well.. I knew all along that being a leader is not easy and I have been put in this situations more than i care to remember... and everytime I do my best, everyone sees that I am more than capable... I even get compliments... from the BIG SHOTS... but that is not the reason for doing something good.... Its just my principle i suppose... and a lots of others share this some principle! Of course, you hear people not liking me as well.... its only normal...

I heard little rumours that people are not happy that I have been elected... Not because I am incapable... but because of other reasons which i will not mention... and I KNOW excatly what they mean and feel, because at work, I encounter the same problem, but on a HUGER scale.

My dilema now is...

• I can lead but i need willing people to lead.
• I can lead but I need them to work alongside me, not against me.
• This program is supposed to be a happy thing but if they are unhappy with me... this will probably have an impact on them... I don't want to make them feel unhappy as I am, though miserability loves company... I DON'T HAVE THE HEART!!!

I know people are nice and smile... but they talk behind my back... This is not a problem to me as i know this is one of the little things you need to deal with when you are a leader... But I cannot stop thinking how miserable they are feeling...

I really don't mind stepping down if they let me... IF you are reading this... please give me words of wisdom... I need it now more than ever!

A part of me says i should just brave it and deal with it as much as i can... but a part of me says just step down and let them take up the responsibility... :( HELP!!!

This is a recent picture of my family. Front row: My older Rena, Me, and my younger sister, Elia. Second row: my youngest sister, Fetty, my dad, my mum and my eldest sister. Between my parents is Selina, my cousin. 

some of the boys :) This is our place where we do our dancing and stuff :) 

Faizah, Norul and Amy looking straight at the camera :) SMILE girls :) 

Najwa, Adeq and Faizah posing for the camera 

part of the view at the stadium during the event 

One of the Bruneian participant going to throw his winning ball 

These are Bocce balls... 

Me and Baby working hard during the Special Olympics... 

The Others at the front part of the boat 

We just arrived at Imam's place.... and took the opportunity to take some snaps, while we all are still fresh :) 

Me, Bodi and Dilah... Who knew we were going to be a team later on :) 

Hail attempts to make a kikik.... he eventually succedded in making a nice one :) he was so proud of him :) 

Some of the kids found in HJ Azlan's house... and they are all his cousin, siblings, and nieces and nephew... :) BIG family :) 

Amy, is cousin of Norul... Just because you are in Kampung Ayer, no reason to neglect your neauty *wink* 

Some of the boys attempting to create KIKIK, also known as kites :) 

The View of Kampung Ayer from the kitchen of Hj Azlan's House :) Beautiful :) 

Part of the group at the back of Imam's house trying to look at people making traditional KUEHsss... 

This pakcik is demonstrating making Kueh Bahulu the traditional way :) It tastes sweet and good :) 

Look at me... SUCCESSFUL!!!  

Nurul, the Chef, is also attempting making the traditional kueh 

Hail is also trying... 

Mirul is trying his luck at making kueh jala 

Cikgu also attempting :) 

Dillah had a go at the traditional making of the KUEH :) 

Meela teaching Nazmo to buat pinyaram