I want to dish dirt... I have been dying to do so for at least a week... but my brain stopped me... kind of forced me to "NOT TO DO IT"... so I changed my mind. I can be a horrid person to "PISS OFF" but i have my senses - most of the time. At least my brain tells me not to do it, even if my feelings are strong about dissing someone whom had made my life HORRIBLE! and I know I can do a VERY GOOD job of spreading the word when i want to...

and since i cannot get over this constant anger i have and escalating... i have to let it go and talk about something else.

I was bored today... so i watched TV. Always watching TV and channel surfing until something caught my eye. and today, a movie on channel 40 caught my eye - Lorenzo's oil. I watched this movie at least 5 times.... over the span of 12 years...

Everytime i watch it... my eyes spontaneously swells... everytime i watch it... i understand in awe... I feel empathy... I feel for what they feel for their child... and the wanting to do and achieve better despite being turned down... I understand all that...

It makes we want to be a better person... It makes me want to live life better.. it makes me want to help people sincerely and more honestly... (NOT that I am not....)

I have been telling my patients slowly that I am moving to KB and their therapy intervention would be carried out and followed up by another therapist. Obviously, I reassured them i would discuss their plans explicitly with the new therapist. Its very heart warming to hear parents and patients both expressing their worry...

some said "Why are you going?", "What about us?", "How about my son's treatment? He has been doing so well.", "I see improvements with you.... how about the other therapist?"... etc...

I take these words of worry as compliments of my work and achievements... They know and felt results with me, inspite me working them hard... and obviously worries that my succesor is unable to carry the load.

One of my collegue is worried that I would transfer a lot of cases to her... as she do not want to be made comparison with... Meela Vs her... *wink* I thought its cute... and it warms my heart... i feel less anger building in me...

Sometimes... when you work so hard... you try and give the best possible treatment plan.. you encourage them... you invite them as your family... you want them to achieve many things.... and sometimes.. people take you for granted... they forget that a simple 'thank you' makes your killing back, spliting headache, my multi-fights with other team players all worthwhile.... just a THANK YOU....

Occasionally, i get cards, wet kisses, flying kisses, salams, hugs.... i treasure them always.... I always try to remember my patients.... and they remember me... i only really hated ONE patient in my 7 years as a therapist!!! That must be an achievement!!!