Empathy

Imagine yourself to be this lorry driver with a young family. and your son is not talking yet. You are worried and brought him to see a doctor knowing it would be expensive. None-the-less, its something you as a father have to do...

So in you go, with your child and wife to see the paediatrician whom later confirms your worst nightmare... you child is not totally "normal" and needs help and so she sents you off to see the speech therapist.

You wait a long time to be called, and when seen, she later send you off to others and you wait some more. In the mean time, your child is still not improving. You grew restless, unhappy, but you still have to feed the other children, and you have an oblligation to your wife as a husband and father to all your children, not to mention being a good son, and son-in-law.

When all the professionals finally got their acts and results together, they offer you regular and often weekly sessions to work on your child. However, your wife do not work or drive and you have to do the driving. BUT you work in a private firm and have to get out of work more often than the bosses like and you get a deduction in paychecks. on top of that, the therapists insists you spend more time with your son.

On top of worrying about your son, work and boss, financial problems amongst others, you have to "work" with your child. You do not know how you are going to do it, but you do. No one understands your problem... but people often point fingers and you hear family members speculating that your child's lack of normancy is due to YOU! after all your efforts, you are still to be blame and unappreciated.

Its been a few years, and soon he is going to school. Because you are not a citizen, but a permanent resident, you dont get to enjoy any privilages. When he is in school... he needs special help, assistance, curriculumn. But the school and teachers are unequipped to accept your child. In fact they refuse to take in your child.

and when you have ironed out kinks, you find out teachers in school are unable to provide necessary help to your child. The government agencies are unable to "HELP" you...

your child will grow up unable to fend for himself. He wont be able to work to earn a living. He is not physically impaired nor is he DERANGED or MENTALLY RETARDED as people rude point him out to... and because of that, he is not liable for disable allowance. what is his life to be after you are gone?

This is not a story about ONE patient, but a mixture of several patients together. BUT, if you but yourself in just this father's position, which is actually not as bad as the others (This is pretty 'normal'), what would you have done?? Can you do what the father does? Can you still 'hold' on?

Now question yourself: What do you do to give back to the community? What do you say when you see a group of family with a very 'hyperactive' child - you slander them, not knowing that the child could be the one mentioned above?! What can you do?

having seen the ugly side of family life... dont you ever wonder how health professionals pull themselves together? if not for faith, i would have scumbed into something dark and evil!