Hapiness is...

You can click on the title above, as it will bring you to a blog written by Twinkle not so long of the same topic. Initially, I only wanted to say that QUITING from my job would bring me happiness, however, find out how I have changed my mind.

Things that would make me absolutely happy are:

1. Understand what I need for myself, on my own.
2. Be self-sufficient; not needing anything or anyone.
3. Have money. I do not want to think about money; if I have enough to spend or share or burn. I just want it to be always there...
4. No responsibilities, other than to myself and god.
5. To QUIT my job. (It ideally would be number 1, but a girl has to earn money in reality to survive and pay off her debts)
   
6. Stay in bed and never get out of it.
7. DO nothing...
   
8. To have communication with people ALL the time, even if its just tiny things like telling you they need to pee! (If they within your immediate surrounding of course! I am not silly!) Every little thing adds up, and all types of communication is important!
9. To wake up and feel good. Gone are times when I wake up and feel like crying, feeling tired and worse...
10. To be truly happy with oneself.

Happiness is a constant working progress and you constantly have to work on it. Only you can make you happy; so i was told! It is also a process of mind over matter. Make yourself believe you are happy and you are...

I probably would never achieve any... and so I would never be happy... or would I?

Clack! Clog! Chump! Chump! That is all i heard from the table to my left, while i was dining on my own, waiting for my sister to turn up. I can hear the couple's utencills going across their plates louder than I can hear them talk. I can even hear the chewing activities louder than a blowing machine on the road!

We tell our children all the time:

"Chew /eat with your mouth closed"

"Eat slowly"

"Don't drag your spoon against your plate"

"Stop clacking!"

We do not seem to follow our own advice, some of us that is. And this couple, eat like this in a restaurant!!!! - Where are their manners??? I lost my appetite!!

Happy Birthday to me

This year, I have a man's voice, and a head that feels like a volcano about to erupt on my birthday. Needless to say, I do not feel like celebrating. I never feel like celebrating, but it feels good to be remembered. I received loads of text messages on my phone, as well as on line. I even got messages from my sister, parents and aunt from abroad.

However, all i did not get was 'conversation'. i fell to bed tired of waiting and without conversation... i felt dumped! Birthdays always bring me down... why?

Anyways, to those that never did had the chance to read what my birthday is all about in previous blogs, here is your chance.... click away and re-discover the journeys...
July 2005
July 2006
July 2007

An excerpt from July 2005:

"Legally, My birthday would be on the 14th of July but my family would usually greet me on the 15th July!!! ...... On my birth certificate, It was written that i was born on the 14th July few decades ago. The nurse that was attending my mum wrote that down, and it was certified by people whom was not my dad (he was not there) and being LAID BACK as they are, did not check the details on it! However, according to my mum, I was born on the 15th July, because i was born after the midnight of 14th July, when she came to the hospital!!!"

Boss is not here： Boss is calling：
I Like this emotion!!

In a meeting： Training： Tea break：

Before noon on weekend： Ready for getting off work：


Tomorrow is a holiday：　

Got today’s target from boss：　 Tough target：

Find impossible to meet boss’s requirement：

OT for 2hrs： OT for a whole night：

Being notified to OT on weekends：


Meet with ‘Sorry-I-Don’t-Know’clients： Made mistakes in work：

Little achievement： Frustrating things happens：

Finance person doesn’t give the money:

Being advised NO BONUS this year：　

fighting

i hate fighting.
it makes me feel horrible.
i promised myself i would not be in a relationship that fights all the time. I do not want to be in a ever cyclic vicious cycle. Maybe being single won't be that bad.

Rainbow

Do you remember looking at the sky, and seeing this wonderful thing... Its colourful, and its there after it rains. Sometimes, it all around like a big semi circle, sometimes, you can only see a peep between clouds... Once, when i was younger and in primary school, i remembered looking at the sky and seeing this CIRCULAR rainbow. Yes, rainbow.

I used to be fascinated with rainbows. I have to say, I still am. Despite knowing that its reflection of light on water particles... or something like that if I remember my secondary Physics right.

I was driving home from KB a few days ago, when I was stuck in traffic (Yet again!) when I saw this colourful spectrum to the right of me, out of the window on the horizon. I was looking, and trying to see how the colours change from one shade to the other, and how the colour change is so amazing that it actually blends... you don't see separation of colours.

You know when you were in school, you learnt that the rainbow consists of 7 colours, and yet, when I was looking and staring at the rainbow, I can see more than 7 shades of colours, yet, it was kind of difficult to say, this is the line where red end and orange begins. The same goes for the other colours on the spectrum.

I am also amazed that we still have the chance to enjoy rainbows. While stuck in traffic, I tried to think and remember if I had seen a rainbow while I was studying abroad. and the answer that came to me was, not that I know of.

Perhaps we still enjoy rainbows here in Brunei because of the clearer and better environment, where the water particles are less contaminated, and clearer to reflect off pure light. But perhaps also, being near the equator ensures plenty of sunlight to reflect the water droplets to get a nice big clear rainbow after a rainy day.

There are many superstitions and also folkore attached to rainbows. The one I remember the most is the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. At a younger age, I used to want to find the pot of gold... I still do, but now, I understand its no longer possible...

A rainbow also reminds me that god is fair. He creates a gloom day, with heavy rain (good for some when it does not destroys houses or crops) yet after it is over, we get to enjoy sun and a spectrum of colourful colours across the sky to be enjoyed by all.

I shall remember or try to remember, all 'dugaan' and/or tasks may have beautiful rainbow spectrum at the end of the day.