Dear family...

That is how an email started.. and it was aimed to most of my dad’s family and some of my mom’s family, including my aunts, uncles, cousins and in-laws… second cousins were included… even close friends… Initially, it started innocently.. as one person’s way of sending a block email to all, a mean of saving time… and everyone kept on hitting the reply all button and adding news of their own, and suddenly, we helped build a closer, healthier family relationship…

Suddenly, we started to talk to each other, listening to each other across the seas, separated from each other, but still… waiting everyday for that link of an email, that joins us together as family, share everything as family, discuss things openly as family and faces consequences of life as a stronger family unit. There are some people in my family that I am not close with (and not so proud of it) but suddenly, with this email, started to exchange words, sentences even thoughts… then… the natural encouragement!

Following the email, we have moved another step forward,… we created a family night… and have agreed for it to be on a Saturday night. It would be somewhere nice, but away from crowds so we all can share news, or even just type away at your boring column for your personal blog. Today was our second family get together – and it was a smash!!!

Who ever noticed that blood is thicker than water is not exaggerating. Though we do not seem to notice it, but in times of trouble, despite your personal dislike, we all tend to stick together through thick and thin… and I feel that we as a family unit have been through a lot!

The more I spend more time together with my own family, the more I realise that there are quite a few amazing people in it. They are able to stand up to people and say, “Mind your own business”, “I can survive”, “I can be independent”, “I can be as successful as you!” and more… Challenges are always faced head on… No use shying away from them as they are to come your way sooner than never…

Being in a family, I realised, is to accept the other individual with their flaws in your face, trying to make them a better person, and learning to let go and hoping that they grow to have sensible head on their shoulders. Being in a family also means encouraging them to excel, supporting them through hard times, as well giving them a hard slap across (not literally) to wake them up to smell the roses..

As we were discussing with Madam Checek and others, the root of my inability to find a mate is my inability to go a step further, my inability to accept wholeheartedly.. ?fear and always wanting approval from my parents! Its weird… its strange… but somehow, it is true… I have a lot of emotional issues that needs resolving… that needs addressing… I also know what this inability is and how it got there… but that is too personal…

My move across Brunei have been deemed to be a good, positive move.. and I am glad. But, that nagging feeling that someone is on your back constantly have been addressed.

Talking to the others about what the others had done and said, in the past, recently or predicting the future, it all colours your life more beautifully… absence of someone from the crowd is often felt.. like a void unable to just filled… unsatisfied…

A lot of us have this tendency to talk to other people, our adopted families, friends… people whom we personally chosen to be our family to disclose our frustrations, unhappiness and more… but, they can double cross you… and they turn their backs on you… but families won’t…

Keeping in touch is cheaper and easier now… so I do hope our dear family emails continues as we build our relationship from strength to strength. Its actually a pleasure to have known you and met you.