I have worked with children and adults with multiple speech and language disabilities, not mentioning intellectual disabilities on top of poor cognitive skills. But helping them make sense and understand or even get them to tell you their name or identify an apple individually and spontaneously even after 2 years of treatment (YAY! An ACHIEVEMENT) is a lot of hard work and tears! Not everyone is able to accomplish this first milestone.
Often, parents feel helpless. They feel that they are to blame for their child’s failure to learn and reach normal developmental speech and language milestones. This is not ALWAYS the case. There are cases where I SCOLDED parents for not doing their part in educating their child, but a lot of us DO try our best, but it is just not enough. Sometimes, it is always a matter of understanding limitations and strengths of an individual. All parents and carers want their child to TALK, but what is wrong with using sign language? What is wrong with inability to spell but able to talk fluently? We need to re-focus our child’s strengths.
Parents sometimes want their child to achieve something THEY want the child to be able to do, like play football. But if the child does not have the ability or passion to play ball, no matter how much training you give, he and yourself will not be happy. THIS IS SO SIMPLE. Yet, a lot of us do this; IMPOSE our dreams on our child! WHY? The same for special people. Do not visualize them to be something they are not or unable to be and in the process add unnecessary stress on them!
They have feelings too and they know that they are different. It doesn’t help if society (US) and their peers are unable to accept them as they are. I have patients coming to see me and tell me that they are STUPID! WHY? WHY? WHY? They are not stupid,… they are different. I just finished a session with a child. I asked her to repeat after me… “I am special” several time… and later she said… “Are you sure? My friends said I am STUPID!”. POOR understanding of people’s weakness makes you an ignorant !@#$%.
Put yourself in a parent with a child with special learning needs shoes. Imagine going through a day, just a day, they go through. The waking up, sleepless nights, picky with food, the inability to understand your child’s speech but the need to teach and reach out and the WANT to communicate with your child, bathing, shopping, playing and more… I don’t think anyone can re-live the pain these brave parents go through… Only God is all knowing of their pain and struggle to just get through the day.
Then, imagine you are in the child with special needs shoes. You want to say something, you want something but no one understands you. All your movements are controlled. Why is it that I cannot run in a shop? Why can’t I eat ONLY the things I want to eat? Imagine the frustrations of these individuals when they are unable to read, and write or spell. And imagine being called names in school not just by friends, but by teachers and family as well. The feeling of being such an unworthy individual… “WHY DO I EVEN LIVE?” they may ask themselves… and I ask this of the people who are inhumane!
If you really have empathy for these people with special needs, you would try to at least understand what it is like to be in their shoes in the strange world where everyone is so unfriendly and loses patience with you! You could even stop teaching your OWN child to fear special individuals and put stigma onto them. Instead, you would want to help them, volunteer and most importantly give to your charities. Not a lot of us are charitable. Not just in the sense of finance, but in understanding, accepting, involving these people as part of our society. They are after all BRUNEIAN too. Yet, they have poor educational and support in school and society.
What are we to do? Do you think it will never happen to you? Think again!
Make a difference - lets start with understanding and the right attitude.
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