Funny things about being a Speech Language Therapist...

A friend emailed me this :) I love it... read on...

TOP TEN REASONS TO BE A SPEECH LANGUAGE THERAPIST (SLT)

10. We have ways of making you talk
9. We know what the name of the little thing that hangs in the back of your throat is called
8. SLP is more than just lip service
7. [wil/`vtutraenskraib]
6. You're always analyzing your friend's speech
5. You think it's cool to hear someone swallow
4. Someone has to help Cindy Brady
3. We like to hear ourselves talk
2. You know how to say "larynx" correctly
1. You can legally brainwash people by making them repeat the same phrase over and over again

TOP TEN REASONS TO MARRY AN SLT

10. Get your mother in laws hearing tested free
9. Translates pet talk
8. Uses appropriate sign language - except when driving
7. Early diagnosis of dementia
6. Unlimited thickening fluids
5. Steady income - for weeks at a time
4. Free oral-peripheral exams
3. Good vocal hygiene
2. Knowledgeable in tongue-thrust remediation
1. Can distinguish women from cross-dressers based on pitch, intensity and intonation patterns

TOP TEN REASONS TO DATE AN SLT (MY FAV top 10!!! HA HA HA HA!!!!!! Its so wrong... yet so funny!!!)

10. We'll prove that doing it slow makes it smoother
9. We can make you scream in all the right ways
8. One hour sessions are our speciality
7. We'll teach you how to make the "OH" face
6. We know how to get your strongest muscle up
5. We know the value of frequency
4. We love intensity
3. We know how to swallow
2. It's all about tongue placement
1. We do it orally!

YOU MIGHT BE AN SLT IF....................

10. You casually drop the words "diadochokinetic rates" at parties to impress your friends
9. You are the only adult you know who still plays with bubbles on a daily basis and enjoys it
8. You write your child's first words phonetically
7. You get excited about flavoured tongue depressors
6. During informal conversations with friends, you often interject "good speech!" or "nice talking!"
5. You take dysfluency data during speeches and sermons
4. Children seem to gravitate to you during social events
3. Instead of saying to your friends "What a cute baby!" you say " Does he vocalize in two or three syllables?"
2. You can recite the Ling 6 sound test backwards
1. You make casual eye contact with people's mouths during casual conversations