Man, Me, Mama and Mike at the sides of the ship while touring the facilities. Mama was very happy and proud. She doesn't speak much english but we get by. 

Posing a pose with the family in the dolphin hall... this is where we assemble generally. any performances will he carried out here. 

the COMPLETE family on the upper deck of the dolphine hall. 

Me, Asuka and Mike with the family in the hallway before entering the lounge "a name of a room we are about to enter". 

Me and my family in the ship's bar... This is one the way to the sport's deck. I rarely hang out here... but a few of them can be found here often! 

My family in Vietnam - during the farewell... 

The family in Vietnam. The old lady with the blue ribbon is my mother and the younger man is her son and my brother. The old gentleman is my uncle (her brother) and the lady is my cousin (her niece). They are NICE :) i enjoyed my stay very much. They still call and write to me all the time! 

Asuka was my sister in Vietnam. She is also saying goodbye to the family we left behind! 

Mike and me saying good bye in Vietnam 

Mike and me... He was my "brother" in Vietnam, and also in Brunei. So he and I are close :) Mike is a doctor whom is migrating to the USA for more work opportunities :) 

The Myanmars... They are a funny couple. They fight, bicker and always make up... Some find them to communicate with... not me... i think people just do not make the effort! 

Amy (MAPY), Pram (IPY), Nazmo (BPY and my buddy) and Kong (MAPY) :) these people are always a delight :) 

Mashi (JPY), Su and chien (VPY) with the Laos' National Leader :) 

kid-kid (CPY and my room mate), Winnie (CPY), Kitty and Aree from Thailand :) these couples are joined at the hip! 

Ginny (SPY), Sophat (CPY), Yo (JPY) and Yah (TPY) in the train ready and excited for homestay 

Asuka and Jaq in the train to Yamanashi :) 

At the back is Motoko San - my administrator in charge of my group. She looks fierce and may sound fierce too, but she is NICE :) 

SG C waiting in line to get on the bus to go to the train station - ready for the Japanese homestay! 

Yah (boy in glasses from Thailand) is my assistant in this group. He is also nice. Next to him is Jaq from the Philippines. She is only 23 if i am not mistaken :P 

from the front to the back: Yo (Japanese PY), Amy (Malaysian PY), Daisy (Indonesian PY), Mike (Philippines PY) and me (Bruneian PY). Notice how extra short I am :P 

Uchi San with one of the Singaporean PY 05. Both are adorable :) 

This was the first "JAPANESE" style restaurant i went to in Japan during my homestay. Spot me at the back if you can... We were given a non-alcoholic, meat-free saba dish, a delicacy of the prefecture. 

Me and Ikyu (EQ) from Indonesia - waiting at the mayor of Yamanashi's office for an audience.  

I was the 'leader' for SG C, and this is SG C. They are the best :) and this was us after we finished a brief course in Japanese-style flower arrangement. This was carried out in Yamanashi, Japan. 

This was taken in Yamanashi, Japan, in the hotel where we were staying for a night. What was i thinking? Nothing to be exact :) and it was fun :P 

This is April 2006

Don't you sometimes feel lazy to update your blog? Don't you sometimes wish you have this sophisticated gadget that recognizes voice and it would type everything you want? Because such things exists :P sigh... just can't be bothered to fork out money to get it...

Things are happening to me on a daily basis... Just like the other day... we had a fun start on the stroke round... or the other day when i attended the national Stroke symposium... or the bit when my grandmother was unwell and i stayed in emergency till the early hours... or when i have a new clerk whom happened to be a sister-in-law of someone i knew and I am not impressed... or when i had to do more work on Special Olympics but relatively in the dark about what games and types of training i would be offering! or when i stayed in the clinic a bit late and i felt and heard something behind me...

Sometimes... things happens to me... every waking moment I have... and i take it in my stride... and i try to deal with it as best as i can at that moment and make good decisions... but because life is just so full of suprises... and things that are constantly changing... when they happen to me... It doesn't have an impact!! Everything is like a blur..

I no longer have that passion... that interest... that intrigue... that facination... Long gone are the questions... the willingness to make a change...

Am I at the brink of another burn out???

mid march update

I have not blogged for a long time... and there had been some notices in the tagboard for me to blog... some even write in their own blog for me to blog... Strangely enough, I haven't anything "intersting" that needs to be typed and posted... nothing "burning" that needs to be off my chest... Anything that happened so far... even interesting ones... I am talking them camly and in my stride...

I am busy with "Special Olympic Brunei Darussalam"... I am somehow involved in it... and there are MANY MANY things to be done... and then... there is "WORK"- clinical and administrative stuff... and also my cross stitching...

I promised a friend I would work on something intresting, arty and beautiful for his wedding sampler and present. However, the time i allocated for it to be done, had been taken over by "WORK" and the project is now way behind schedule... However, the friend's wedding is in the near horizon and i am meeting yet another dateline... and am desprate to finish it before the wedding date and have enough time to get it framed... otherwise it has to be given after the honeymoon...

no interesting things to say at this moment. but will try to update you with what had happened so far :

• bought a new phone. Its not Nokia, its Samsung. My first ever. I do not know what it is called... but it has radio, MP3, Video, Camera, bluetooth and more :P learning as I go... slightly different from what i am used to.
• My dad's birthday is on 19th March 2006. I dunno what I am getting him... sigh... perhaps dinner :P
• completed our "Scheme of Service" despite many changes that involves emails, graphs, texts and some angry dialog...
• Passed my BLS -Basic Life Support, one TRY only ;)
• cancelled "children" services due to the HFMD... so more time is dedicated to administrative work.
• part-time clerk
• bought a girly pink bag that people loved so much :) plus it was on sale :P
  
• stitching a friend his wedding sampler for a wedding present... sigh... if i get to finish it...
• trying to save money...
• my car is problematic... and may need $2000 to fix its problem... I am ANGRY!!!
• SLT CLinic in Kuala Belait had moved from Paediatric Clinic to ORL Clinic... The staffs there are NOT friendly.. if they try to do anything... ANYTHING... or even breathe hostility to me... I am going to breathe FIRE!!! the old location was full of friendly people...
• bought lots of book at the book fair.... loved it!
• joined kelas mengaji QUran every Sunday Morning... Skipped once so far since February... he he he... i was too lazy to get out of bed!
• RIPAS won 3rd place in the annual bowling competition of the Ministry of Health :) I was Head Cheerleader this year :P
  

Okay... will write and update more if there is anything intersting or worth writing... if i can find time to myself to think and maybe read something other then work texts.... sigh... such is life...

and Burt... sorry about cancelling our dinner.... *Hugs*

So many things had happened to me that I do not care to elaborate more than necessary... I don't believe in a bad month... but i am having a bad time...

first, early on the month, i was dumped. Reasons were i am controlling and made this person uncomfortable and weird. and i ask a lot of questions... who made the decision: the other person. How did it happen: I have no idea... Why did it happen: I do not have any idea. Closure? None what so ever. The other person did not even have the courtesy to answer my sms when i asked for my books back... somehow, it is a blessing in disguise. Do you want to end up with a man whom cannot apologise personally... and backs out from a healthy discussion...

MEN ARE SUCH BASTARDS!

Next: problems at work are plenty. Not in the order of it happening... but i have been sucked into writing up my clinic's scheme of service... and i am not very happy with the man responsible of it all.... I thought he was this person i imagined... but he is not... BOY! am i suprised he turned out to be a sucker leach that only looks after his own interests, fuck what other's interests are or what and how it would affect their lives!!!

Then, my amah in the clinic is retiring and the admin is not replacing her. Some bullshit about not having any amah to replace! the one we have could not even take messages properly! Not that i mind so much because she looks after us well...

THEN... my clerk had been promoted and has been taken by JPM... ALL that training for several years... and she is gone just like that. My friend and I are left to manned the clinic by ourselves, i.e. be the therapist, amah, cleaner, receptionist, secretary of the other therapists as well as the clerk of the clinic... and many more... and she too is not being replaced!

OH... and if i need to go to the toilet, i have to lock the clinic and leave a note saying i am in the loo taking a piss and will be back in 2 minutes... or else the big indian boss would hunt me down and just break down the toilet door!

Not to mention the doctors in the wards giving me a headache... a difficult patient with tracheostomy and ventilator dependent insisted to be fed... like how do we assess a patint in that condition. I went mad looking for a protocol for such a procedure... and could not find any... Thank god we have the support of several good dr friends... that backed us up and said an assessment is unwarrenty and is indeed risking the patient's health. but does that particular doctor cares? of course not... "i take full responsibility"... ARGH.. DICK HEAD!

I lost my saving account book where my salery goes into...and had to make another new account... I have informed my ministry and thought the "gaji" section would look after it for me... and all i have to do it just report it in.... NO NO NO... since when does the ministry of health look after its own people... NO! They only look after their own fucking backside!! watch their own arse!

I had to go to the ministry of finance myself and clear all this mess up... and on top of that, i had to cancel my patients to get out of the clinic... and then patient would be complaining that i have cancelled them to do something personal and it would go to the ministry and they would have a talk to me why this would happen... I thought the idea of having administrative staffs are for them to look after the administrative side for us clinicians.... if we have to do everything by ourselves... why do we have them? Why the fucking hell is the government hiring and paying them to do shit work, where as i do more than my share, got stepped on more than i care to remember and count, and get paid less than i deserve!!!!!

What the fucking hell is wrong with everyone?

personal:
My grandfather (My dad's uncle) passed on yesterday. He is a very nice man... he is always kind to me... and smiles at me... he always offer me advice when i asked or not... he had faith in me... and i know he liked me :) because he said it often... he is proud of what i had becomed and achieved...

I was in the hospital the night before it all happened... I just came back from Kuala Belait (ANOTHER HEADACHE!) when i got a phonecall saying he is ill... he have been unwell for such a long time...

4 of my family members died this year already... I am afraid...

Oh my god...

aren't you fed up sometimes with life...

maybe i should be a leach sucking bitch so i won't have to reduce myself to doing a "degree" job for a "diploma" pay! fuck off all those up there who does nothing but suck their thumbs when commanded!...

and yes... a friend told me about security of whatever in blogs... what who cares... THIS SUCKS... we should look after one another... try and make life better for all... not have a one sided agenda and only look after yourself... where is that responsibility to look after the people who look up to you and hope you would care and do something about it... Do you know people are always hopeful that the administrators are doing something to make life better.... but we know the truth to that!!! Do you even care that they they suffer? Seriously... can you feed a family with only $1000 a month! Be realistic!

for now... all i want to say to most people is FUCK OFF! I hope you rot in hell! and remain there for eternity!!! until i change my mind that i would forgive you...