Appraisal

Its that time of the year again where all government servants are appraised for their year’s work. Often, it is your superiors that carry out the appraisal. However, the issues of how fair it is... raises its ugly head annually.

People are appraised according to several headings that existed within the standard form to be filled in. That includes time and general management and how well you carry out your daily tasks.

But not everyone receives training on how to fill in the form correctly. If you think about it... its subjective to interpretation. Example, a boss that comes to the office at 7.30 am daily and yet his subordinates arrive to the office at 7.50 am would not be pleased and would given them lower marks in that area. Whereas, a boss that arrives comes to the office at 8 am, and his people at 7.50 am would tend to give them higher scores in the time management slot.

Another issue with time is, how do you give parents that need to go out during lunch, and often during afternoon working hours Vs single workers that do not leave the office early, fairness in the time management slot.

Again...How can a boss that does not do any work appraise a hard working worker?

Freaked Out

I was cleaning my room, and emptying my book boxes when I came across several books I bought from the book fair several years ago. It was in English and something about Islam and it was produced and approved by the Ministry of Religious Affairs. Plus the fact that I bought it for 50 cents per book wink

And as it happens, one of my sister is dating a Caucasian, and so I thought it would be a good book to give him... nothing that deep to get him make a sudden decision but something to give him an opportunity to know the religion, so he does not get shocked. Anyways, an insight is good for any religion.

He came to the house with my sister and I handed him the book. He thanked me and I said read it... and left it as that.

Fast forward to several hours later, I was looking for a book... a little book. It was entitled “Convert to Islam”. It had gone missing. I freaked out for a bit, but eventually I wasn’t so worried, because it was a small book, and was sure I misplaced it. It was a book meant for another friend whom had already converted to the faith... Until my sister called....

Her boyfriend was worried he was given the book. He was like... ‘and so... I have to convert now’ (not an exact quote of speech). He he he.... poor boy! He must have freaked out.

I quickly called him to get MY book back.... but he was not available, and so, he returned the call. I wasn’t sweet about it either... I was adamant I must get the book back, and he seemed like he was more than happy to return it... hahahaha...

Anyways, there is a good but easy read book written by a westerner in English. I’ll get you the title for those of you interested. George Negus wrote it.

I am exhausted.... Ramadhan is always my busiest and packed of all months... and because the working hours is shortened, you can only get so much done... plus, work means talking.... the whole morning... the throat does get tired and dry. the brain exhausted, the physical drained...

news update:

1. Azhan informed me that he just got out of the hospital on home leave. He will be back in on Monday. Any updates, you all will know. Any well wishes will be sent his away as soon this is published.

2. For those of you that are unaware, and probably because i have been keeping it on a low, only because it is nothing THAT important to advertise, and this is information to family members abroad especially... we started to sleep in the house. My room is the most messiest because of all my boxes... and i could not keep them away because my cupboard are still in the process of being modified... so i have to wait a bit longer. The parents (dad especially) is very worried! Anyways, i cleaned it up well... and it is spacious :) and last night, Nenek Bini slept at the new place, in my room, on the new bed purchased especially for her.... she loves it!!!

3. Baharin has been promoted to Act. Lt. Col. And he isgoing to Nottingham end of this month. I know i do not meet him that often, but i know i will miss him much :) *HUGS* however, i wish him all the best :)

4. EJOY (anak E suan) recently got a job. And rumours is that he is going to be posted to KB :) Yeah... a friend! finally! however... i am worried about where to keep him... i mean... space!!!

5. Marteen, friend of Long's and SDL... He is leaving brunei soon... and so, we will miss him :) He has been good, though i have not been seeing him for a long time what with his extensive travel plans... I wish him all the best in his studies... Rumours has it,... he is returning in December... I wonder why *wink*

Before i end, i would like to wish everyone...

SELAMAT MENYAMBUT RAMADHAN :)

I have been feeling tired these past few days and was sleeping during lunch... which i rarely do..... I was wondering why that is... only to realise that i have been packing, loading and unloading some of my things into the new house... also.. i have been attending the New Youth Ship; youth of brunei's training on the days i was in bandar....

My uncle and i don;t have TV Brunei (kuala Belait).. the birds have been picking on our aerial.. and so we have bad reception. We didn't even know if we were fasting today... i found my sister on line and she told me... and that was at 10 plus at night (last night)!!! sigh... i am so tired... i was a fool enough to book a full clinic today!

i recieved a text message from Azhan... it started nice... only to find out that he has been admitted into the hospital. The hospital i am working in.... I went to visit him as soon as i found out... he was asleep, or so i thought, but woke up as soon as i gave him salam. We chatted non-stop for an hour plus.... I came to visit him again after work... his sisters and aunt/uncle came as well.... I am sure many more of his family members came... i am also sure he is absorbing the love and attention :) Despite being unwell, i admire his will to get well. He was all smiles... he eat everything despite unworking taste buds... he sits up, even when he feels tired...

I want to shower... and if i can... i want to join Sembahyang Tarawih in KB... so tara for now...



This is a picture of the Youth Leaders of Brunei from (L) 2004- Fakhri, 2005- Meela, 2006-Billah and 2007 - Badar (Picture courtesy of Fakhri (www.sseaypbrunei.blogspot.com) from his blog

eating alone

Lunching alone has been my daily routine since I moved to Kuala Belait a year ago. It started and was meant to be a temporary measure, but, it has been since, a more permanent part of living away from things you know.

I used to eat alone in the clinic because I could not find a lunch partner. Even if I do eat out with someone, it would be my uncle (like twice a year), friends from Bandar whom was on a visiting service for that day, or my Aunty Nor, whom happens to be in Kuala Belait with her CLMV GROUP of people.

In Tutong, nothing seemed to be the different. I still eat alone, while reading a magazine or a book. However, I do not eat in the clinic, I eat in the canteen. (When it is opened) I used to eat out with a friend whom used to work in the army based here, however, he has since moved, and I am back to eating alone.

Why do I eat alone? Its not that I enjoy eating alone... in fact, I used to hate eating alone, what more cooking for one. Sometimes I rather not eat or cook. However, I can’t starve myself just because I don’t feel it.

1. Often, I eat just because I have to. I do not go far from the hospital, opting to buy what ever food they have within the premises, despite the ‘erm’ taste to it. If I am eating alone... why drive all the way only to be your own company most time... I eat so I have energy for the afternoon session. I eat because I do not want to have gastric. I eat because munching sometimes gives me a bit of pleasure that is often unavailable when you don’t have any one to converse with.

2. The people in my working environment are mostly married ladies with their own family, or if they are single, they have an in filterable social circle. I find it hard to ‘mingle’ with them, as I suspect it may be difficult for them should they be in my shoes. However, I do know, I would bring people out for lunch rather than leave them behind, alone, and be miserable!

3. Like what Anthony is experiencing (referring to the blog title: are we that unfriendly) it is hard to make friends... even if I am local, eat the same food, speak the same language, and/or enjoy the same activity. Why is that?

4. Lunch used to be a time I spent with my friends or family members and exchange news of what had happened or what has been going on or what they are thinking. It’s a time we spent eating but also talking.... but me? I am left to be on my own, not that I do not enjoy some peace and quiet or is afraid of my own company... but... humans are designed to be communicative.... even monkeys eat in groups and ‘act’ accordingly!

I don’t feel sorry for myself... far from it... however, I would love some company... to talk to... give my brain a bit of an activity... give me the chance to interact with people whom are not patients or wants me to do work... but... someone whom would just talk, discuss things... or even just a friend to play board games with...

If I can’t find anyone to talk to till the end of this year... I wonder if I should seek a second job just to occupy myself...

magazine reading...

I went to see my Chinese Acupuncturist last night with my sisters. While waiting for him to finish with his client, I took a malay magazine and started reading. (As always, I read from the back – it’s a habit. But its not bad. Regardless, I read it cover to cover!)

There were several interesting articles in the magazine, even if it was from October 2005! As I was flipping through, I saw this article written by this man - I always liked his opinions on life.

One woman asked him why it was difficult for women to find the perfect men to which he answered that men do not understand what women want. He added, man thinks by pulling their pants down and revealing their underpants, and walking their moonwalk, they would be attractive to the opposite sex. NOT!! STRIKE 1.

Then... there are men who would stare at a women’s chest, like a COME ON, from them without realising it’s the opposite of what women want!!! STRIKE 2.

The lady then persistently asked why men do not just ask what the ladies want... he then answered... men have their egos. By asking... you are reducing the vitality of their manhood... (An insight to me!)

He then classified that there are 6 types of men.... of which, when I read out loud to my sister, she laughed and smiled. (Let me try to write them down from memory)
1. Men whom are nice aren’t available.
2. Available men are hideous.
3. Available nice good looking men are gay.
4. Nice, responsible and okay looking men are married.
5. Available nice single men don’t have money.
6. Available nice single men with average income thinks women only want them for their money.

What do readers of the blog think? Perhaps, someone should come up with 6 classifications of women. And why it is equally hard for men to find the ‘perfect women’...

bicycle

I was driving home from work, late Saturday afternoon, when I noticed a group of people going home at the same time I was. The only difference is that they were cycling home.

I drove slowly past them. I tried to look at them closely. It was interesting. Some of the workmen had different helmets on for different types of work, example, a hard hat for work and a bicycle helmet for cycling.

Some of the bicycles even had a basket in the front where they kept their extra hat. Others just hung it off one of their bicycle’s handle.

It was even interesting to see that their bicycle is just one of those normal bikes you could get in the bike shop. None of those top class or very expensive ones. The colours are also just very normal, nothing that spells fancy.

I then smiled to myself.... Kuala Belait is different...

You do see some people cycling to work in Bandar... but just a handful. Even the contract workers are driven. You also don’t see cyclist wearing protective helmets like they do in KB... unless they are one of those people who do own the complete cycling gear and is into it as a sport... they are excluded from this observation.

I smiled to myself... I was thinking... Good... Excellent... They are environmentally friendly and is good healthy exercise. Then... I smiled further.... they are different. It feels as if I was looking into cyclists driving up Victoria Road in Edinburgh. I miss home...

1. They are saving energy and also saving the environment by using this activity as part of their routine. They government should give people more incentive to carry this out.
2. It just proves that you do not need a fancy bicycle to get you moving from one point to another, as long as your practice safety! How many of us own expensive bicycles, yet can’t seem to remember the last time you used it, and is sadly collecting dust at the back of the garage?
3. The land transport department also should look into properly documenting or outlining proper and safer options for cyclist should WE want to encourage this activity as part of BRUNEI’s way of saving the environment as well as promoting healthy living. It is also realising the vision of the Minister of Energy, as he recently spoke in his speech, to reduce the usage of unnecessary energy.
4. I wish I can cycle – I have poor balance, and can never seem to be on the bicycle long enough for me to even move properly more than 50 cm. However, with training wheels, I am good *wink*