comments given....

ha ha ha... i get lots of personal little tid-bits of messages commenting about the last "article" i wrote... and it seems that a few of you out there disagree with me.... I suppose you all just found the perfect friends and i envy you all....

Reading success stories and reading how close people are with their friends despite marriage claming them... and how it develops to be what i envisioned mine would be does not make things any better.... it makes me think why me.... what is wrong with me....

Anyways.... I am such an understanding person that i know its not always me.... but it could be them *WINK* and i take that deep with me *:P* That is sooooo not true... and if you know me, you know i am not like that... he he he....

Its just that i believe god throws us different types of obstacles.... He challenges the best of us and sees if we are able to get through every test he gives us.... People are different as well.... It may just mean that i am attracted to people that may not be totally sincere in their friendship and it shines bright when something better comes along...

I aim to try and get through MOST obstacles given with good faith and strong determination... AMIN!!!

friendship after marriage...

Many of us form friendships and some of them actually are deep and meaningful… Friends are family we choose for ourselves, I once read on a magnet sold at Knick-knacks but I was too cheap to buy it :P But that sums up what I feel…

Good friends are with you through the thunderstoms, not just during SUMMER time… Real friends give you a piece of their mind knowing that you will trash them saying mean but had to be said things! You tell friends your most intimate secrets that you don’t even tell anyone else… maybe not even your parents, siblings or other close family members! Good friends are very difficult to find and even more difficult to keep once you form a different kind of special bond with someone else of the opposite sex that may lead to not only you spending less time together with your friend… but you growing separately… I am talking about marriage!

Marriage may strengthen a bond between a man and a woman, but it can also dissolve a friendship you build on trust that had you going for YEARS before you even met your “partner”. In its truest sense, if your other half is truly your “PARTNER”, why would he/she condemn a friendship that you have built with your friends? Why do they question motives behind boy/girl platonic friendship? Why do they question your trust? Surely they understand the importance of you having friends and not just concentrate all your affections to him/her!

I do understand friendships like any other types of relationship goes through different stages… and for some marriages to work, you may have to ‘communicate’ less with your friends to give way for their new and thriving relationship… but at what cost? Its ending? A wise person once told me, a friend is someone you keep for life, one that you trust would always have your back covered… a BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND may do the same, but do you really know that they would??? Even a married couple cannot tell if their spouse would really ‘help’ him/her if they fall into huge trouble! But true, strong friends do, and you can trust that they would help you if and when they can, but yet, we are eager to be rid of these people we call our friends.

I have lost many good friends through different ways, but one way that really hurt the most is one that you do not have control over, marriage. I have lost friends through studying abroad as distance makes the heart grows less fond-er… a Malay saying “Tak nampak, maka tak cinta”. I lost friends through different view points (we grow up, and don’t see things as we used to… We don’t fight but we grow distant), and through marriages (just because they got married, they have less time to spend with you and they also manage to make you feel like second class citizen, being summoned to only when they have no one else to talk to, or that their spouse disapprove of your relationship with your friend, and worry or perhaps have low self esteem that you would actually STEAL their spouse from them, not knowing you have no designs of such on your friend you had since you were in diapers!) and YES! I am bitter!

Why can’t we have a marriage and a friendship working at the same time... friends are not stupid people… They do understand that married couples do need their time and space to be together, as it is only important… but it is also important to keep your friends… My ideal scene is where I see myself with my married friends. We are having our lovely chats in the garden, overseeing the children playing. The husbands joining in the chatter-banter of life and circumstances. All of us having good bonds and mutual respect and admiration for each other.

I would just like to feel that I lost something because of something…. Because I made a mistake that I should learn and not repeat… but losing friends through a marriage only tells you to fear marriage itself and that it robs you of a different kind of happiness… marriage is suppose to bond people together, spread love… but all I learn from marriages is it destroys you and people you love slowly!

my weekend...

I had an interesting weekend… I spent my Saturday night with Shibah watching a movie, then talking through the night till morning!!! It was really nice :) It is always nice to have someone to talk to… and have fun talking :) especially when things you talk about are of similar “values” and are FUN!!! Then, today, I spent most of the PM with my friends… lazing around, doing nothing… (WITH Hannah to entertain us) and continued in the pm talking with Aunty Nor, Kak Nana and Kak Meng :) (Obviously on various topics!!) It was really fun :)

Aunty Nor also read my palm again... and it was a very interesting session... Sad to say there is nothing much on the career front.... but she did have a lot to say about my "personal" life.... a few of the comments to heed are i need to be less "uptight", less emotional... broaden my horizons... Have more fun!!! and LOSE THE EXCESS BAGGAGE!!! and forget all the loosers i have known soooo far :P

I would love to elaborate... and from the conversation i had... i had a lot of things to say/write suddenly... BUT... i can't spend so much time online tonight.... NEED to sleep as i am going to Tutong in the morning... and before that... go to the CLINIC and pack the files and toys! SIGH!!!! I forgot to do so Saturday! (AND i left the clinic at 5 PM!!!) that means waking up earlier than my usual 7 am!!!!!!!!!! and if possible 7:15 am :P

Anyways people... have faith that i will write about interesting stuff the next time i blog :P he he he... i am also wondering what i would be talking about.... circles of relationships....????

my first crush...

Who was your first love or even crush? Do you remember him/her? Do you remember the stupid yet significant little detail important to you long ago??? Did you know what happened??? Did things progressed? I was just thinking out loud to myself… probably secondary to boredom as well as having nothing to say but demanded to update the blog,… I just thought of this….

Thinking back, I have to say I have pretty low hormonal problems (I STILL DO!!!) I really didn’t fancy any one in school… Private school or religious school…. Not that there weren’t any cute guys around… there were… and I remembered them… its just that I had never been attracted to them… not until I met this guy….

He was in my religious school… we were in the same class… he sat JUST in front of me… He was just an ordinary boy… he was cute but there were plenty of cute guys around… The thing that made him special and attractive was his VOICE and I his brains…

He was new to school… his mum (a teacher) was newly transferred to my school… and naturally, his sister and he had to follow… to make life easy I suppose… I did not pay him any attention; my attitude was he was another HUMAN. But a lot of the other girls were crazy about him… GAGA!!

We were always asked to read together the Quran first thing in every class… I was usually thankful because it was my WORST subject… Not that I could not read… just SLOW to read… But I ace other subjects!!! And I know the teachers know this!!!! One day in 1988, we were asked to read individually… I panicked… we all had to pay attention to who was reading what as we can be asked to continue reading from where the person last stopped!!! I was on ALERT!!!

Next thing I knew, the teacher was walking beside me… and he stopped for a while… my heart was racing MAD!!! He then lifted his stick… and I remembered thinking… “I’m DEAD!” and he touched not me but the student in front of me… PHEW!!! I was about to day dream when a voice like angel came from him… LOVELY voice!!! I was immediately in cloud nine!!! Eleven if you think it possible!!! How can a boy have a voice so heaven that it melts my heart!!!???

So… he is not so ordinary after all… yet, I wasn’t HEAD over Heels in love with him UNTIL… we had a surprised Rampaian (test comprising of 5 questions).. I was smiling because I was always ready (NERD!)… usually score high marks and would be one of the few that would get 100%!!! I was surprised the new boy had 100% as well… I mean… cute boy with brains!!! Since when???

I was really smitten… I was skeptical on whether he was really clever or was he just lucky… he didn’t disappoint me… he really had brains… I never actually said anything or indicated that I liked him… but I remember smiling more… I was SOOOO shy then… (Believe it or not!)

After that year, I was not meant to see him again… I moved to the morning session, as my secondary school was in the afternoon… but going to an all girl’s high school… girls were always talking about boys and his name was mentioned when I was in Form 4 (1993)… It seems like I have never forgotten him… more, I have never forgotten his voice… Where ever he may be, what ever he has done with his life, I wish him only the best… and my wish is that he looks after his lovely voice…

I don’t really fall for guys… unless there is something extraordinary about them… They have to be special… they need to have the special k factor… I like men, contrary to believes… but I try not to fall for their stupid tricks!!! (Ali, my best guy friend, thinks I like to have men for dinner and chew on their bones!!! That’s frustration talking due to their stupidity!)

The second crush I have is on Robert Downey Jr (1996)… and I still do like him… he has the looks, the brains and the voice :) What more can a girl ask for?

How romantic is it to get married in a place like this... and this was where Haiza and Ian got married on 15th April 2005... As you will see from pictures to come... They celebrated their precious moments with loved ones.... Haiza had friends from Ireland and her father, of course... and Ian had his FAMILY and good friends from ENGLAND.... They had 2 ceremonies... One at this great hall (Civil ceremony) and one at the Islamic Center (NIKAH)... *sob* *sob* *sob* Beautiful... CONGRATS people *HUGS* 

Ian LOOKING anxious before the wedding :P he he he... Don't look worried... She won't miss it for the WORLD!!! 

Perhaps this is the last shot of them together before they tied the knot :) he he he.... looking good people!!!! 

Bride and groom with Ben... Another of Ian's best friend. He is the official photographer for the wedding (BOTH ceremony) and i was informed on good authority that he is single :P and a very nice BLOKE :P 

Waiting patiently for the ceremony to move on already :P Bestman was Glen (one of Ian's bestbest friend) and Haiza's bridesmaid was Siah :) 

I am not sure what comes first... but this looks like they are signing some documents.... could that be a mariage cert??? :P 

During the civil ceremony... Haiza standing tall next to her groom... 

Haiza with some ladies... Apparently the lady in SARI is a very nice lady (Why is she in sari? Because her husband is Indaian whom also happens to be very nice.) ...so nice that she wore a scarf over her head while they were in the Islamic Center to show her respect :) aaaawwwww.... we all love her already :P 

Together with some friends :) 

One of the most beautiful pictures available in their wedding album!

Picture with the groom's family 

Pictures with some of the asians there....

The bride and groom with their parents... 

Ian's parents with Haiza's dad at the wedding hall 

Haiza's father with Ian's mother at the wedding day... 

Haiza dan ayahanda... Looking beautiful serba putih... and SHE did it all herself.. NO make-up ARTIST!!! Top that!!! POWER to Haiza :) 

I think... Ian and Haiza were getting ready untuk majlis NIKAH.... Since i was not there... can't really comment properly... But don't they both look amazing? *wink* 

Ian and Haiza... Looking BEAUTIFUL.... SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU....... 

Kak Nana teaching Selina how to throw the ball and get to knock some pins in the process... 

Encik Aziz, Kak Lin and Elia.... just before anything starts :) 

Kak Nana and Kak Meng2.... I can see why THEY look like sisters!!!! 

Me and Selina taking a break :) 

CONCENTRATION.... I need to aim properly... 

Kak Nana and Elia posing for Hannah :P 

Hannah pretending taking a picture of all of us during lunch....