happy new year and Happy Birthday

Happy New year to all!!!
May the new year bring us all new tidings.

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My youngest sister, FR, is celebrating her birthday today. Celebrating, is also her 'twin' Mima. A big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you both. May the day be filled with fun things.

Expectation..

I was (and is still) talking to F about 'expectation'. Its one of those serious talks we have, and i like it...

When someone expect something out of an individual, often especially when it is not openly discussed, it can be such a disappointment and anguish to all, and turn that particular experience bitter and sour.

Expecting less, or making your expectations more reasonable and appropriate, the situation may just turn out to be pleasant, exciting and pleasurable. The possibilities are endless.

Big words such as compromise also came up. I believe, COMPROMISE is important in any transaction involving human interaction, feelings and or discussions.

However.... talk is cheap! Actions speaks louder... volumes!!!!

PS: If you say you are going to try, then, you try very hard to achieve or carry out what you are going to try!!!

Merry Christmas

To family and friends celebrating, have a good christmas :)

Again

Its December again. Its school holidays. Roads are slightly clearer. However, its one of those months where people are in the mood to 'get married'. Invitations are aplenty.

One of my cousin is getting married. I am grateful that there isn't much to be done. I am not exactly a fan of 'extra work', especially when it involves these kind of social activities, mingling and non-sense chit chat!

When i am in the mood, i enjoy helping out when and what i can. I also enjoy the bad singing, the 70s songs, even bad jokes!

However, december is almost over.... the new year is here to capture us in its hyped sensationalised 'better future', "new year", "new resolution" new everything... as if our lives would change with the new year. Logically thinking, its only another day... and it would not change us without any intervention from ourselves!

Volunteering is not exactly something people of this land do much. The concept seems foreign, but it had been practised long long ago... They somehow have forgotten their roots, and values.

As a student, many hospitals and clinics were asked to volunteer, so that we students can have some practical hand on experiences of working life, working with people and executing tests. If it was not for my past clinicians, i would not have been in this position.

I like to return the favour, and do something good for others that may need exposure and hands on experience before becoming a 'clinician' themselves.

I have the pleasure of carrying out this task, however, students often forget that they need to be humble in a profession like this. People do not take kindly to arrogant figures, even when they know what they are talking about.

update

Has it been almost a week?! Time flies...

The year has not ended, yet, my next year's calendar is already full up to beginning of May 2009!!!

I recieved a phone call this afternoon - and its more work for me!

I wish i just have some assistance! I really cannot do this much longer... or if i do, i would really die of mental exhaustion, high blood pressure, and of course obesity (not that i am tiny) because i eat a lot under pressure!

It is not that i have not contemplated a change of work environment, but, i believe it to be similar everywhere... over worked... and under pay!

If they pay for all the assessment, reports i conducted,... I would probably be more motivated and less grumpy!

Nokia 3110

So I finally got a new mobile... The old one was not functioning any more. After much deliberation, and with the help from F, I decided to get Nokia 3110.

Initially, I wanted to get Nokia 5000. I went to the shop with J and it looked very nice. But, after surfing QQestore, I found that Nokia 3110 was much cheaper with additional 2GB additional memory card.

As you can see, I don't need much to keep me happy. I can live with some updates, and a few technology tools... I don;t need fancy stuff. J can tell you t hat I am not so great with technology :)

I will be reading through the manual, word by word. Its what i do :)

To all Muslim readers, Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha this Monday :)

phone... mobile...

Just the other day, my uncle tried to call me. I answered naturally... but he could not hear me. i called him back, he called me, but we still could not hear each other.

After some time, i tried to call Frank... and it happened... I can hear him on the other line, but not him, me. The same happened when my sister called.

I came to the conclusion that my phone has finally 'died' though, i can still text messages, so that is good.

I am going to get another phone soon... nothing fancy, just something that would work with enough functions for me to use.

affected

I find it strange and sometimes amazed how one's actions often not only affect the do-er, but also people in her/his surroundings... The bad or good... it always have this kind of impact...

I am not sure if i am what you call a 'sensitive' person, where i FEEL people.... but I do empathised with them, and sometimes takes things too hard, literally and often personally.... and this had affected my life in more ways than necessary or liked...

I used to try to listen to people and empathised... but now, i rather walk away...

Not knowing --> not understanding, not feeling --> not hurt

However, shrinks all over, across cultures would most probably not advise to walking away from problems... but when it is out of your control, how can you not, trying to preserve some 'normalcy' in your own life???

Half past eight

H and I went to watch a movie at a cinema one day. We had cut out a coupon from a free magazine, with a $2 off the ticket value. I love coupons like that, and so, I booked the movie for us via phone.

Before that, we met up with J and had dinner at a Thai Restaurant in Jerudong. The food was excellent by the way :)

Back to the movie, i called the cinema. And since, we were having dinner first, we decided not to rush and catch the later movie. It went on like this:

Me: Hello.
Girl: ***** Cinema. How can I help you?
Me: Yes... I would like to book 2 seats for adults watching Madagascar 2. The half
past eight show please.
Girl: Which show would that be?
Me: The half past eight show please.
Girl: We have showings at seven, eight thirty,... bla bla bla...
Me: I just said that... the half past eight show. The eight thirty show.
Girl: For how many?
Me: hmmm.... 2 adults.
Girl: Ok. Your booking number is ..... Thank you.

As far as i know, we learn to read the clock in lower primary school. I am sure the girls working there minimal education background is O level. so.... why is understanding 'half past eight' difficult???

I've been tagged...

Rules and Regulations:

1) You have to take your picture right now! (yes now, no editing, no fixing your hair or anything)
jgn membuyuk!!! bedusa... hahahha

2) Post the picture immediately at your blog

3) Post it together with these rules

4) Tagged five other bloggers to do the same thing.

• Iskiness
• Selina
  
• Burt
• Yus
• Lin

• 

absent mindedness

Just a bit over than a week before, my car refused to start. No matter how much i pressed on the pedals, it wouldn't budge. It made a struggling sound.... to which i can relate to totally... But I was thinking, you were running smoothly yesterday and last night!!!

I was already late, but not late enough to cancel just yet. I was confident the problem can be resolved in a matter of minutes.. to which i turned to my rescue-er; my uncle.

We were messing around, trying to find out and doing stuff to it.. but the car was determined not to work. 30 minutes had come and gone... and i had to cancel promising to see them next week. It was just not going to work. Obviously it needed a bit of TLC.

Not long after, it finally started. the battery needed a change. It served me well for 2 years and a bit. I had no qualms about that... its just one of those things that needed to be replaced. I, however, wished it would have told me earlier it was not working more that morning, so i could have done something to avoid it.

Anyways, a week later... I came to work to bad news. I had forgotten about the kids and had gone about my business as usual. I was outstation from the district... and they came to the clinic. They were most unhappy, i was told.

People are usually happy with me and my service. so when i heard this, i was most unsettled... I called them immediately, apologising for my absent mindedness. I offered another appointment date, and this time, i made sure i will not cancel!

And so, i had a brief chat with the car.... No more misbehaving!!!

silly...

I guess people act silly sometimes... even brilliant ones.

My friend, A, became a first time father 3 years ago. He was ultra excited. And, i was obviously a 'consultant' on many different issues that i can help on. and, he often update me on his child's milestones... like, little Al burped today or Al can turn around. Its all so sweet and cute and even silly.

A don't usually call, so when he did, i was a bit excited. A said, "Al called me daddy today!" full of excitement in his voice.

I went like, " A! I am sorry to not share your excitement and all... but... i think fatherhood had damaged your brain cells! Al could not have addressed you... she is barely 3 months old!!! Even Einstein talked late!!!"

and today, i had a mum that came to the clinic with a delayed child.
me: C, is a very active boy, isn't he...
mum: Yes. that is good?
me: up to a certain limit. So, mum, how old was C, when he first started walking?
Mum: oh.. maybe 13 months.
Me: good. When did he first talk? like say Mama and daddy?
Mum: oh! i remember that well. 6 months!

PEOPLE are fooled by this tiny people... and its kind of cute, sweet and silly at the same time :)

PS: I am feeling a bit of my 'old' self this pm, and it felt great :)

weird

There is this man at work whom i think is a bit weird and may be hitting on me... his lines were corny... instead of having this warm fuzzy feeling about it, it scares me more.... and i get goosebumps...

Imagine someone saying :

You have a lovely smile.
I love working with you.
I like your hair.

PS: He is married with kids...

The monsoon is back... rain is inevitable. I was driving on the highway tonight, but had to drive slow as visibility was poor. I was driving at 30 km/hr, so you just imagine how bad that is...

On a lighter note, Nippon Maru, with her 35th batch of PYs came and gone from Brunei, being its 1st port of call. I did my bit as a participating youth, though, i can do better, if only location was not an issue! I did not participate in this year's reunion, but i guess, there are many more of those to come, especially with the news of a 'newer' ship next year. That would be more interesting :)

I also had just changed the look of the blog, celebrating the successful report of a tagborder's flooding messages :) Its still kind of 'dull' but, brighter... does it signifies brighter entries??? Time will tell...

Speech

My institution just celebrated 'Hari Raya Aidil Fitri', even though it has just ended.

I had been elected to be the 'head' of the group, and had been requested or expected to deliver a speech. More over, this speech need to be in MALAY!

Its not like i cannot speak Malay, but my STANDARD malay is probably laughable... hence, i need to do a lot of work on it. i even had a couple of family members helping me... and when it was ready, it was an excellent piece of speech....

On the day of the ceremony itself, when i was delivering the speech... NO ONE LISTENED!!!! All that hard work, I might as well had said, !@£$% all of you, and they would have clapped HARD!

Despite having a positive out look on people, its time like this when they should show respect, that they don't... and that people like me for example, lose my reverence for them... They did it to themselves without my help.

Good day

So, it did not start smooth,.. in fact, it was kind of bumpy, and i was all NERVES and all... but, it turned out to be good. and like a friend once said, "after a while, you forget all the bad stuff".

I was supposed to have a 'clear' morning due to a mix up, but i ended up being so busy and pre-occupied. I had patients turning up, and i had to listen to their problems, and try to offer a solution, or try to find one. They did however, called me up to find out if i was there and available :) good on them :)

Anyways, I was in TUT this pm. We had case discussion session. We were joined by many other professionals that never really attended this before, but it was a welcome :) We learnt more new things :)

As we were discussing our case load, one particular child jumped out to me. I was sharing to the others how violent his behaviour were, but he is recovering. But mum is obviously way over her head. Then, a medical professional suggested that it might be Fragile X Syndrome. I got way excited because i remembered that from O-Level Biology, and i could actually tell them what it was... *wink* can't you just smell the nerdiness??? :P

Anyways, I was like... soooo happy i know something the others didn't. And also the fact that the person whom suggested it was impressed i knew :) yeah... typical stuff to boost morale :P

Another thing that made me happy was that a 'difficult' case was slowly unraveling... and 'We' got more professionals involved. I don't want the paient or his family to suffer, but whatever pain they are going through now, i hope they understand i did it for them, and it is DEFINATELY out of love for them.

I had an earlier date with the girls, J and H, instead of the usual tomorrow. We ended up doing fun stuff :) it was gret :)

But, i did promised someone a 'date' and i stood him up... I hope he is not too upset about it. I will try to make it up to you :P sorry!

so, all in all... a good day :) and guess what... I am capable of being UP BEAT :P

Musical...

I won tickets to watch High School Musical 3 at Empire Cinema for 2. Since J dislikes cinema, H went with me instead. Armed with the knowledge that it is a musical for "kids"... I was sort of prepared... and having watched the first 2, was FAIR warning.

I like this better than HSM2. However, one asked me, High School Musical 3 or Mamma Mia? Mamma Mia hands down.... BY THOUSANDS of MILES....

I was requested to make a stop to an open house tonight... and there was a lady singing... She was good. Her pronunciation was good, making me able to enjoy the pieces more. I was captivated... i could have been in a theater, re-living my student days enjoying plays.

All the singing reminded me of a person i recently saw. She was keen to sing, and was supposed to be the lead singer in a band, but because of voice problems, she was unable to pursue it. It made me kind of sad, and i know she is sad... She was, however, was able to accept her condition, and was willing to work together to make it better.

Having said that, working with someone whom is in denial of his condition, and creates stories to make himself better of how he acquired the condition, makes working with that person very difficult.

I sit here at my desk, thanks to J, H and A whom bought it for my birthday, thinking how medical professionals and others sieve and sift through information to get to the core problems, what with people's talent with words and spinning tales.... What if you get the wrong information, or interpret the wrong information....

Thank you

There has been some activity on the tagboard... I am not sure why that happened.. or how it happened, but it did... I am not even sure if it is a 'positive' thing that is happening...

Research had informed us that negative behaviour should be ignored and not rewarded... hence, negative tagborders, should be ignored. However, I am never one much to shy away from 'challenges' as politely as i can muster...

In most culture and religion, as well as international "standards" of human behaviour (Social and pragmatic skills) had silently agreed that one should not judge another person - Its like they say, "Do not judge a book by its cover"... Sadly, many of us are quilty of that, including a particular tagboarder.

When we say something nasty about another person, does that make us a good person? Does it make us feel good?

There is an element of truth in what had been commented, and it had been taken into account. Alas, the tagboarder is not the first and won't be the last to pass a comment as such. I, myself, have realised how gordy the blog had become... and FAMILY and FRIENDS (note: not strangers, whom do not know me) had made similar attempts (personally and politely) to make it less depressive. This is what i would like to say: There is such a thing as 'personal thoughts', and if it tends to be BLEAK, so be it.

My thoughts on things may be different from others... but, they are ORIGINAL and are all mine! I have never forced anyone to accept my thoughts as theirs.... except maybe earlier on, hating my boss! *wink*

Like i have said earlier, life is a journey... and adventure... a process... Some may have it good, others not so. Some may be lucky, but not all. Most happy, but a small number unhappy about many things in their life.

I have to say, I am very fortunate to be born as I am, in my family, with god's gift of brain, physical strength and appetite *smile* But, I am also fortunate to be blessed with the ability to THINK and rationale things, may it be good or bad, and think THROUGHLY of any issues within my capacity - so yeah, you can say that i THINK DEEPLY *BLUSH*

Many of the 'sad' entries have histories behind that i share only with the selected few. Hence, it won't really make sense to mere visitors. It would really look like i had dug myself into the pit... and you are watching me letting go... such is not the case, I would like to reassure all my readers.

I would like to thank all that cared and worried about the mental and emotional well being of the blogger. I, indeed, am very pleased to know that you have my best interest at heart. Just like the stock market is unpredictable, so am I... But, just like the stock market, it always manages to pull itself/herself through any storm.... WITH time, understanding and lots of support!!!

I leave you with few wisdom quotes:

If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties. -Francis Bacon, Advancement of Learning Bk. i

He who knows much about others may be learned, but he who understands himself is more intelligent. He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still -Lao-Tsu. Tao Teh King

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -Eleanor Roosevelt

To repeat what others have said, requires education, to challenge it,requires brains - Mary Pettibone Poole

Criticism is prejudice made plausible - H. L. Mencken

I feel like a failure. I feel bad.