Wednesday 15 June 2005

Commenting on a comment i stumbled upon...

I was just looking back at all the "articles" I have written over the months, and i stumbled upon this comment made by someone i obviously KNOW well and is VERY close to me, but have not disclosed his/her name... But there can't be a lot of you out there... I know whom I told things and whom I don't... and that particular knowledge shared to the whole world was ONLY meant to be shared exclussively within the circle!!! Since the CIRCLE of trust had been violated, and some others may have stumbled on the same information, I feel I have to say somethings as well... :P


I don't exactly have a good track with "RELATIONSHIPS" may it be with GUYS or family members... I am even known to have LOST a lot of friends over the years... Hence, the bitterness and inability to "TRUST" and have negativity in a relationship is, for me, a shield, a protector, a comforter... Once bitten, twice shy.... You learn not to let your heart at the end of your sleeves and try to protect it well from external, unnecessary HURT! I only have 1 HEART!


There are, however, times when i do not start with negativity... IT just grows after... Reasons are plenty... I won't lie and say it happens to all... NO! It only happens to some... and what the criterias are for it to start... well... The higher the chance of my 'heart' coming into the equation... the more careful one has to be... I know I have to change... and I have addressed this issue with a lot of people... I have even contemplated to talk to a professional... HOWEVER, I do feel I can overcome this problem!


and IF you are referring to this guy that liked me for years... well... This is the story... Its out in the open, and once it is, I appreciate you SEND me a personal message if you wish to comment further!


There is this guy i knew... we were friends for years and had kept in touch sporadically... Sometime end of last year, the texting activity had gotten reactivated and I sense a KEEN-ess but backed off since there had never been any clear signs... I, as any other girls, let the guy make a move...


AS it turns out... He continued to keep in touch with text messages... He is not very 'talkative' but i kept him informed and updated briefly about what has happened or what is going on in my life... and when he has anything significant, he usually does the same.


We've gotten closer recently and have decided to give the "RELATIONSHIP" a try and see where it brought us... obviously expression of "LIKES" between two parties had been exchanged... and that had been sparked with the help of some GOOD CLOSE friends...


Things were smooth... we talked on the phone, we continued to text frequently... but we rarely meet up... A lot of reasons contributed to that, but neither of us minded... It was healthy... We discussed issues that may be important to us, that could affect the new relationship... i think We've met up only once before things took a different turn...


It happend suddenly, it happened out of the blue... I may have triggered it with my MILLIONS of questions... but i may not have triggered it... that particular question had never been answered... but, the guy suddenly realised that things were moving too fast, he needed space, he needed to breathe, he needed to pace things out... he wasn't READY... and wanted to remain friends... I don't have a problem with remaining friends... he was a friend in the first place...


so... after reading and having a really quick but concise summary of what had happened... do you still think that I "dont let go things of the past n let go things of the future"????


The way I see it is that I did try and even tried to keep communications open... I was honest with what i wanted, what my aspirations are and more... I DID not hid any bit of me... I did not even let anything RUIN it... it kind of ruined itself... now that has to be FATE and not me!!!

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