Monday 6 June 2005

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

I am not sure... but one has to try before one says "NO". I have learnt that so many times in my life span of an almost 28 year old. But I have this bad attitude to find faults/cracks in the early stages and try to break-free of being committed or furthering in what seems to be a good start to a relationship. In other words, I "SABOTAGE" my own relationship!

I wonder why I do this.. Is it because I am incapable of being in a relationship? DO i see "DOOM"? Is it part of hurt? Could it be drawn from experience? Not wanting to fall deep only to hurt? Unable to commit into a SERIOUS relationship? AFRAID?

All of them sounds like plausible answers to my own dilema - but knowing what it is, in my case, does not really help me from being disruptive. I try very hard to curb this instinct feeling but it takes a lot of energy but a technique i find useful is to ASK, KEEP CALM AND ASK...

For me, it helps to know what the other person is all about; his interest, likes and dislikes, opinions, friends etc. It helps me to formulate and think him of a "FRIEND" instead of a "X-FRIEND". The tricky bit in this is... MEN are generally not talkative creatures... I mean... I love to talk, i can talk about almost anything!!! If i don't know the topic, i listen and understand and try to express what i understand.. or i just ask more questions to get the conversation flowing, learning new things at the same time... its just me!

Despite general beliefs, I have never been in a serious relationship before... Sure there have been MEN of all walks... Sure there had been chemistry... Sure there had been interest.. BUT I always end it or change it prematurely. Acting indifferent is a very good strategy to turn-off men. Any of you out there who need help in repelling MEN, I'm your girl!!!

I get on famously with men whom i want friendship with... I am capable of forming long term friendship, even meaningful one... Those who lets me,... I form good friendship with their GFs and wife! So.... What is wrong with me????

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well, normally i am the type who wouldnt post a comment, however in this matter, i just don't know why i think i should. And whatever i said here, i hope it would benefit us all. I am not trying to be a "kepoh" person but i think what happened here is that maybe you dont opened up... i think from the first moment you been negative about this relationship thinking it wont work... but i may be wrong... but then again... i dont know what to say...
well it is a shame at time if we dont give ourselves a chance to be with someone.... this person of yours like you for years!! cant believe he would let go just a few days!! hard to accept!! well u know me... n knowing you i think maybe that the problem... u dont let go things of the past n let go things of the future.... dont let it be a problem.... k wont say much... till next time.

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